Our year of missions in the Appalachian Mountains radically and permanently changed us. As a family we bonded like NEVER before. Vince was forced to step up his leadership in our family, because we didn't have a church developed enough to which we could delegate the spiritual growth of our children. Also, instead of the previous church leadership instructing him to leave his family on most nights to attend meetings and church business, ect. as they had done previously, his great mentor in the mission field, Randy Bonner, was encouraging him to spend much of his time leading and training and bonding with his family. He grew tremendously as a spiritual leader for me and the kids, I became more focused on my role as mom, and our girls became incredibly healthy and close. Our habit of depending on others to teach truths of God's Word was uprooted and praise God about that. We were blessed with a bounty of fruit that sprung forth from the amazing growth our family experienced during that time. The kids and I regularly shared this overflow of this fruit as we attended outreach missions with Vince in the surrounding communities. The girls were with me as I taught an elderly woman to read using the beatitudes. They were with Vince when he went to very poor communities passing out free groceries and kind words. Ministry was a daily event and no members would be separated from it by being sent to a school or even a Sunday school classroom. We had a great time helping others as a family unit. (Reminiscing with a goofy grin on my face.)
Our family would never be the same. When we returned home and began to lead a children's church. We became uneasy as the congregation's children desired to be with us more than their own parents-- and they did. Their children's affection was often showered upon us, yet withheld form their own mother, father and siblings-and it was. We were concerned that we were usurping the parental authority of this fellowship's children-- and we were. All of this with their parent's joyful permission. I am not saying that we are these great and likable people. I don't know why this happened, but that it is happening in churches worldwide.
For some months, we tried to present a vision to the pastor and some key families of letting the children worship more with their family units in the main congregation and equipping the fathers and mothers to take on the main responsibility of leading their children in worship and in God's Word. Most of your street corner church congregations seem uninterested in this. The majority of the parents are accustomed to passing their kids to someone else Monday through Friday. Why would Sunday be any different? (This is hard to say, but it is the truth!)
Needless to say, for many years after we came back to main stream America, we struggled because of the church's lack of support for our convictions concerning the biblical model of the family. We stopped attending church for several months, until the Lord led us to Heritage Family Church. I am blessed to be apart of a rare fellowship who promotes the Biblical family. From their website:
"In recent years God has called many families to return to a scriptural family life. Fathers and mothers have turned their hearts to their children and embraced biblical family roles. Among the results have been a rise in home schooling, a new wave of godly Christian mothers being joyful keepers at home and an increase in family size as children are welcomed as blessings from the Lord. These are good and scriptural trends.
Unfortunately, instead of welcoming this revival in godly family life, many well-meaning churches have viewed it with suspicion. Families have struggled as they have watched traditional, program-centered church life undermine family unity and the biblical headship of the father.
On the other hand, families have sometimes overreacted by becoming too inward focused and downplaying the importance of the local church.
"Uniting church and home" means to create a local church environment where the church and the family heartily support one another and where the growing revival in family life is not only accepted, but thoroughly embraced and encouraged. Since the family is the primary building block of the church, God's work in the home should be allowed to spill over in blessing to the church.
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