Sister Love

They who love us till we die,
Who in sorrow have been tried,
Who will watch our closing eye,
When all grows cold beside:
Where shall friends like these be found,
Search the earth and ocean wide;
On what hallowed spot of ground,
Save our own fireside?

~Anne Pratt

One of the benefits that sprang from our isolation on the mission field many years ago was the intense bonding our immediate family enjoyed. On mission, we had no like-minded friends outside of our family. For the first few months, I pitied myself about this. I whined that the girls had no friends, and they were lonely. Well, that was not the truth as the Lord eventually revealed to me.



In a very short time, I began to notice our daughters were NEVER bickering with one another, and it seemed that any unpleasant form of sibling rivalry had dissipated entirely. In fact, the days in our home in the woods, far from society were the setting in which our girls had delightful fun together as sisters. As the Lord would have it, He used this isolation to wean us from unhealthy peer-dependent relationships while growing our relationships with one another on a deeper plane. Even my hubby and I began to depend on and support one another in ways that we had never done before. What a blessing this isolation was for our family. Oh, we spent alot of time with other people on the mission field, but they were the sorts of people, though very sweet, with which we could not share Christian fellowship because of unequal yokement.




Now that we are back there are many friends that come knocking wanting to play. I can tell when there has been too much "socialization" when my children begin to sneer at one another. That is when we scale our social lives back again.

I am certainly not saying that I think it unhealthy to have friends. Friends are a good thing. Rather, I am saying that a ration should be applied here. In our society, we tend to tip the balance too far in one direction. In reaction to some strange fear that we will not be "socialized" enough, we find ourselves saturated with peer-dependent symptoms that reveal themselves heavily in our marriages and sibling relationships. And, on top of it all, we have decided that these unresolved problems or the norm, a standard environment for human development.

Let me just say, Christian, that unresolved problems within your family should NOT be your norm.




If you are having issues in your marriages and with your children, I want to encourage you to take time to isolate and simplify your contacts outside of your immediate families while you make attempts to find resolutions to your conflicts. Get control over your social life, and keep it at moderation levels. We find that we have good control over peer-dependency by homeschooling.

If you are suffering from bitter relationships in your family, than you have no business enjoying great fun with people outside of your family while within, there are sisters and brothers, husbands or wives suffering for love and support. That is cheating anyway. Your outside friends don't see you often enough-- when you are tired or sick or relaxed in your sin nature. It is too easy to be loving and loved during our best moments which we reserve for public display, but God has called us to a deeper love and compassion for one another and we should not avoid these training grounds designed for practicing deeper compassion within our own homes.

Chore Badge

Catherine is practicing her violin,
which she does for 30 minutes each day.
You can see her chore badge dangling from her shirt.

A chore badge is a great idea for helping children stay on track when they are going through a list of chores or even a to do list for school assignments. It is an alternative to a written list that is especially better for younger children.

What is it? It is simply one of those clear plastic clip-on name badges I found at Walmart for a little more than a dollar. I cut note cards to fit inside the badges and wrote each item that would be on her to do list on its own card. When she finishes one task, she puts its card to the back of the rest of the cards and begins on the the next task. When she has finished the tasks in the stack of cards, she brings them to me and I can check her work, prompting me to correct and train where needed. This system keep Mommy on track too.

This has been especially good for my child who really wants to please her parents, but gets lured into la la land very easily. The badge that swings about on her clothes is a constant reminder to stay focused on her list.

Since we started this system she has been able to accomplish more in a shorter time period. Now she has more time to go to imagination land, and she has pleased her parents very well!!

I plan to use this system when our little man is older. It can be incorporated when he is very young by using pictures on the cards. I could have one card that has a picture of clothes and another with a tooth brush. You get the picture? :)

Another idea... I plan to have the girls write Scriptures for meditation and memorization on cards that can be inserted into the badges. They will be prompted to review the verse each time they sift through the cards. You could also include other information for memorization like phonics and grammar rules, vocabulary, Greek and Latin roots... whatever!

You can buy an entire system that incorporates this, they call them chore packs. I hope to invest in this system someday. Here is the link: http://www.titus2.com/ecommerce/products/prod_listing.php/1150?review=1

Blanket Training Baby

In the Duggar's new book, Twenty and Counting, Michelle Duggar has shared several good ideas for child training. A few of them I am putting into practice in my house. (I am thinking that if they help her raise up 18 well-behaved little ones, surely they will be beneficial for my 3 soon to be 4.)

I have started blanket training our 16 month old. This is a method of helping him learn self-control, and it forces him into needed down time through quiet play. I have simply picked one of his favorite blankets, one that is not too bulky so it will travel in my purse. During spontaneous moments throughout the day, I pull out the blanket and make a big deal about how it is time for Blanket Time. I tell Aaron that he is a big boy and can sit on his blanket and play quietly. Then I give him one toy that I know should hold is attention for a little while and I sit them both on the blanket. I use a timer that I set for 5 minutes. I will gradually increase the time as he become more comfortable with blanket time. Michelle Duggars children can sit on the blanket for 30 minutes at a time.

Here he is nosing around in the bathroom,
dangerously close to the potty.
HE NEEDS THIS!!

When he is finished, I give him lots of praise for his accomplishment. His sisters are quick to offer plenty of praise too. He like to help me fold the blanket and put it away, and we put away his toy. Maybe this is also giving me an opportunity to focus on helping him learn to clean up after himself, which is an added benefit.

By the way, Michelle's rule is that if they throw the toy off the blanket they cannot get it back nor can they have a replacement. I think this is a good rule.

Aaron seems excited when I get the blanket out, and he welcomes the experience again and again seeming comforted by its familiarity, but after he has been on the blanket for a minute or two he wants to get off. It seems that Aaron likes to play blanket time on his terms, but this is when we help him understand what mommy expects, and how he can develop self-control to follow through. I can see that this will be very good for him. ;)

It will be a benefit for me because I can pull the blanket out during times when I need to focus my attention on something like a project with the older children or food preparation. Pre-Blanket Time days, during those moments that I need to direct attention elsewhere, he would begin pillaging throughout the house pulling books off shelves and bowls out of cabinets making a mess of everything. Yes, this will be good for Mommy as well. :)