My daughter, who is 13, is currently reading The Personal Memoirs of US General Grant. When relating to me what she is learning from this book, she expressed being struck by the respect and kindness General Grant bestowed to everyone, but most notably to his enemies of war. She was impressed that in his book he frequently commended opposing troops for bravery, wisdom and valor.
After the war, he was able to kindle a friendship with Andrew Jackson, his former opposer. They reminisced of an opportunity Jackson had not taken to capture Grant, revealing General Jackson practiced mercy, also. Even though they fought on opposing sides, one did not view the other as a monster of sorts. Perhaps, they recognized in one another that intelligence and honor was the reality of their nature- a reality in which they could be friends.
Rather than emotionally killing his enemies by cutting them out of his life, General Grant was able to continue a dignified relationship with his opponents if possible, as he did with General Jackson. This conclusion reveals his attempt to approach dilemmas and disagreements with logical reasoning skills as opposed to the malicious, destructive nature of unharnessed emotions. This is to be admired.
It is a fallacious trap to be persuaded by the stirring of powerful emotions over logical appeal. George Washington describes the correct approach as governing passion with reason. "Let your conversation be without malice or envy, for 'tis a sign of a tractable and commendable nature, and in all causes of passion permit reason to govern." – George Washington, The Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation,
It is worth noting that General Washington was close to my daughter's age when he wrote these rules of civility revealing our current low standards on youth these days
A wise parent teaches children to guard their minds from being deceived by irrational emotions, whether conjured from within themselves or by others, lest they create distorted caricatures that only exist in their own imaginations that don't represent truth. Life is happier when problems aren't perceived to be larger than necessary. Imagined and exaggerated conflicts with people waste time and energy. If issues are interpreted any differently than their face value, solutions might be misappropriated. Taking time to hear the opposing case with sober and reasonable judgement maintained in the realm of reality and truth could prevent unnecessary battles.
" Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil." ~Eph. 5:15,16
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind...For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly...Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse...If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." ~Romans 12:2-21
"Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense." ~Proverbs 19:11
"Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." ~1 Peter 5:8
"Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife,
sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach," ~1 Tim. 3:2
"So then let us not sleep, as others do, but let us keep awake and be sober." ~1 Thes. 5:6
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